If we are judged by the company we keep.

This is not another Tonight. But tonight the full moon was encircled by an overexposed rainbow against black night. It was hideous. And I was disappointed because this natural occurrence validated all of those horrible Wizards and Warlocks paintings I like to scoff at. All that was missing was a white unicorn with a topless woman riding past. And I am afraid to look out the window now for fear that I will see that as well.
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I listened to a debate between a group of artists. I didn't have much to contribute - though I've thought about the topic a lot on my own - because I'm tired of trying to uncover the answers. Yet, still, I think about it. What is better: to do something first, or to do something better? To be authentic or to be thorough and skilled? I believe Authentic. Some do not. All that can be agreed on is that bad imitation is laughable. In art. In everything.

But what wasn't discussed is how our perception is changed by the order we receive things. When Garbage was popular I was not too interested because I already had Curve for years. A friend who did not have Curve loved Garbage. When I introduced her to Curve I was convinced that she would immediately recognize Garbage's rip-off factor as well as the overall superiority of Curve. She did not. She stuck with Garbage. Garbage was her Curve - simply because they were first to her.

When I am working, I am constantly afraid that I am ripping something off. That I am copying. That an inspiring memory of someone else's work is subconsciously coming through in mine. And sometimes people probably think I am ripping something off - that I am copying. I would much rather be authentic. But it's so damn difficult - everything's been done and I'm no visionary.

But, also, copycats tend to be louder, pushier, more popular.
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I used to be fairly unreliable when something was asked of me. I would tend to offer more than I was really willing to give. But over the last few years, through good friends and a good daughter, I have overcome that problem for the most part. They taught me the reward in doing what you say you will, and the reward in saying no if you don't plan on following through.

And lately I've noticed that karma is paying me back for those earlier years. Because I've been trying desperately to follow through and I've been getting little help in doing so. What lesson is this? I want to believe it is: When you're trying to follow through but the person who asked you to do so is not offering assistance, give up. Give. Up.
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Gabe, Art Professor Extraordinaire, said that he loves fine art showings because of the anonymity and humilty the artists display during their "performance." I agree. I agree. I agree. So how does dear Gabe explain the artist who recently grabbed my ass at his own show and announced that he was "THE STAR!"? Simply, "that guy's a douche."