One who draw heart in January.

At midnight on New Year's Eve, Jen found herself in the middle of a kiss sandwich. Sure, it's pure comedy now, but at the time she just shrugged her shoulders and peered out from between the two of them at me with utter defeat in her eyes, silently asking me - and the forces that be - "Why?"

Ah, it's just a kiss sandwich. It cannot be explained.

This morning I was walking out of the coffee shop, head in the clouds, and found myself on the concrete in one swift motion. Tripped right over the most obvious yellow divider curb. I picked myself up and laughed with slight embarrassment, but felt pretty good about it because no one seemed to see me - oh, except for the guy coming right toward me. The same guy who dumped me for being too much of a "daydreamer." Kiss sandwich.

Met a guy a couple of weeks ago who made me laugh, made me think, quoted Nietzsche, dressed well...whole package. Talked on the phone, emailed some lovely poetry and exchanged ideas on philosophy. When I had my fill of the heavier things and asked him more personal questions like what he enjoyed doing in his free time, what music and movies he was drawn to he emailed me a very formal advisement to see the attachment for answers to my curiosities. It was an autobiographical statement for his graduate admission ap. Kiss sandwich.

Had an open package of homemade breads for my deceased friend's mother on the passenger seat of my car that I planned to send off that day. Ran into the drugstore to buy KY Jelly and condoms for a naughty pack for my recently engaged girlfriend. Threw the bag into the open box as to not clutter my already cluttered car. Made a mental note to take out the bag before mailing. Later that night went to gather all of the things for the naughty pack. Kiss sandwich.

So, to all the dumpers of daydreamers - here is a little something I have learned in my almost thirty years of living an unorganized life. No one wants to read about how you paid your bills on time or got there twenty minutes early. There is no humor in balancing your checkbook each night or taking the smart route home each day. No one will laugh about you folding your socks neatly or avoiding that obvious yellow divider curb. Life is just more delightful when you find yourself stuck in the middle of a kiss sandwich.

So, girls, here are some more kiss sandwiches we've found ourselves in that I would never dare post, but god do they crack me up...

Pumpkin - Kiss sandwich
"I have a cyst..." - Kiss sandwich
"I'll adopt a pet." - Kiss sandwich
Assface - Kiss sandwich
"I've got to check on my fungus." - Kiss sandwich
Sprawling naked like he owns the place - Kiss sandwich
"This could be big." - Kiss sandwich
"Uh oh! Mama poo poo." - Kiss sandwich
"Sandy...Cindy. Jesus!" - Kiss sandwich
Crying over a chocolate birthday cake - BIG F.*%ING KISS SANDWICH